in the new year, I wanted to unload myself of the idea that I'm only allowed to

exist if I've put in enough hours


that unloading was consummated by throwing a Taiwanese wishing bean

into the Amstel where it flows out of the city

I tried everything

in my mind I had a baby

that would change the course


I acquired the words of a new language

through close-ups of beautiful and

less beautiful teeth

until my Spanish teacher, who earns a bit extra 

by giving tarot readings after the lesson and calls me

the lighthouse

because I live in the future (even my torso arrives everywhere faster than my legs can manage) had to tell me that with my oral characteristics

it would be impossible for me to ever roll a rrr

and Hyunhak Yoon, who'd stickered himself into Ted

because it was easier for everyone but him

to remember, reassured me that in South Korea

your worth is measured by whether you've had your frenum snipped


I applied for an allotment

but I drew the Fool, she says:

you used to be a nun

who lived

on landscapes

today, you're as free as you let yourself be

teach your hands that

they're allowed

to lie fallow

see how the sea rushes

as wind through the trees


trees that bring wind

to your face

where, by breathing

in and out, a mouth

causes a minor vortex




The Fool was translated from Dutch to English by Rosalind Buck.