in the new year, I wanted to unload myself of the idea that I'm only allowed to
exist if I've put in enough hours
that unloading was consummated by throwing a Taiwanese wishing bean
into the Amstel where it flows out of the city
I tried everything
in my mind I had a baby
that would change the course
I acquired the words of a new language
through close-ups of beautiful and
less beautiful teeth
until my Spanish teacher, who earns a bit extra
by giving tarot readings after the lesson and calls me
the lighthouse
because I live in the future (even my torso arrives everywhere faster than my legs can manage) had to tell me that with my oral characteristics
it would be impossible for me to ever roll a rrr
and Hyunhak Yoon, who'd stickered himself into Ted
because it was easier for everyone but him
to remember, reassured me that in South Korea
your worth is measured by whether you've had your frenum snipped
I applied for an allotment
but I drew the Fool, she says:
you used to be a nun
who lived
on landscapes
today, you're as free as you let yourself be
teach your hands that
they're allowed
to lie fallow
see how the sea rushes
as wind through the trees
trees that bring wind
to your face
where, by breathing
in and out, a mouth
causes a minor vortex
The Fool was translated from Dutch to English by Rosalind Buck.